No Woman is an Island Series - Are you Self-Serving

Look at yourself…. Can you tell whether you are self-serving or not? Are you one of those people who do not care about other people’s interest? Being selfish or too concerned with just your needs, feelings and desires in life will prevent you from building a harmonious relationship with others.

Selfishness will certainly prevent a person from having the willingness to work together with others. With selfishness, unity can’t be possible. Most people are not aware that they are selfish and perhaps, you are one of them.

So, how can you tell if you are self-serving? Here are six effective ways that can help you determine whether you are selfish or not:

· You like to be in control, and you find it hard to compromise. · You find it hard to share something you have. · Putting the needs of others as your priority over your own needs is extremely difficult.

· You hear useful criticism as personal attacks. · You tend to feel bad, and your mood suddenly changes when your peers have the attention of everyone.

· You experience difficulties in forgiving someone who offends you.

It is very essential to understand that being self-serving is not the same as being mean-spirited or hostile. Egotism is not actually directed against others but, it is an erroneous way of making a person feels that he or she is more valuable or adequate.

Being self-serving is not a trait that you can inherit from your father or mother; it is a behavior that can be learned by anyone. So, if you are self- serving, you can do something to change it and improve yourself for the better. You can use the daily interactions between you and others as opportunities to learn how to become less selfish. Make a mindful effort to change your mindset from “me first” to “we first”.

Can you identify yourself as a self-serving person? You should not be ashamed if you have this trait. It is not too late for you to improve yourself. Make a move today and start trying to make yourself a better person. As soon as you have learned how to be concerned about others’ needs and interests, you will start to appreciate the value of living with unity and cooperation. Ways to Overcome Being a Self-Serving Person People who care only for their needs concentrate on themselves. This attitude stops someone from experiencing how great it is to share, give and have quality and genuine relationships. Because of your attitude, working with others and interacting with people around you is not easy for you to do. Being self-serving prevents you from realizing the value of uniting with everyone. Learning that you have this kind of attitude is one crucial step to improving.

To overcome this negative attitude, you should follow these steps: 1. Change your current way of thinking and embrace changes that will make you a better person. To stop yourself from being self-serving, you should focus your attention on the needs and interests of others and not only yours. From now on, you should try to learn how it feels to be helpful and sensitive to people who are really in need of the help you can give.

When you care only about yourself, it causes others to feel unsafe and uncared for.

2. You must try to understand that while possessions are nice to have, relationships must be valued more. Learn that good relationships and people are more vital than to have material possessions.

3. Start being charitable, especially to the needy and poor. You can extend your helping hand to these people through coordinating charities and organizations that support your community. Donating time or money is one of way to overcome selfishness. Why don’t you try to share some of your material possessions? You will surely enjoy that grateful feeling it can bring to you.

4. You need to become sensitive to people who surround you. Assist those who might need your help and try to reach out to these people in a rightful and caring way. It will surely help you in keeping your focus off yourself. This in the end will help you to become a healthier and more whole person mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Effective Cures for Being Self-Serving Selfishness is known to be a behavior characterized by how a certain individual views himself with regard to the external world. To start making yourself want to experience and enjoy the benefits of unity, you should start relieving yourself first and make yourself eager to be sympathetic and aware of others’ needs. You must fight your attitude first before you can finally experience the essence of unity and its benefits. So, you must consider the following:

Cures for Selfishness Therapy

Therapy helps you uncover the main causes of selfishness so that you can come up with a corrective treatment plan. Traditional therapy will usually delve into your past experiences to assist you in understanding the progression of your selfishness. Innovative therapy like balanced emotive attitude therapy is more focused on the way currently held behaviors, attitude sand emotions are contributing to your bad life actions.

This particular therapy will treat selfishness as a disorder that was driven by character satisfaction, and it teaches you the importance of self- acceptance that is not quantified by success and money. Through accepting yourself without attaching external conditions, you will lose your desire to obtain material wealth at the expense of people around you.

Self-Help Books These books are usually written by people who have struggled over the problem they are writing about. They are the ones who can provide non- judgmental and authoritative advice to someone who struggles with selfishness. Through illustrating samples based on their personal experiences, these authors reach out to those in need of help that wish to try to do so by themselves.

Usually, it is only when a self-serving person reads about something that is the same as his or her situation that they will be encouraged to start understanding their personal issues and how their problems can be solved. To overcome your problems, you must start looking for these books today and let these authors teach you and guide you towards overcoming selfishness.

Spirituality Spirituality is a remedy for being self-serving because most religions depend on selflessness and teach the happiness one can feel when serving others. For instance, Buddhism is based on the concept of attaining the transcendent condition of Nirvana which is the life tree of desire, suffering and selfishness.

Meanwhile, Christianity demands that a person surrender his or her spirit and will to Jesus Christ while serving God through showing qualities like joy, love, peace, kindness, and patience. A person who is selfish and commits themself to a spiritual life might find that they can’t sustain their old behavior which will lead to actions which are centered on assisting others.


Although some reasons why people prefer to have kids might be deemed selfish, usually, parenting will still be an effective treatment for selfishness, especially in the formative years of a child. Good parenting demands a commitment of resources and energy and limits the amount of extra time a person has to devote to his or herself.

To take care of a baby is a selfless act and it often comes with transitory rewards until the child starts to interact and grow. Parents may not always make the best decisions and still need to take some time for themselves... But, to become a parent will require a person to do some self-sacrificing and may go a long way to relieving selfishness.

These remedies will certainly help you a lot in addressing your problem. You won’t have any regrets about trying to apply them to your case. Back yourself up with confidence. Believe in yourself that you can make a change in your attitude, not only for your own good but for the benefit of others.

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